I need to shave this damn beard

I write to you today from San Francisco in the hopes that you can bring home a victory so Ken and I can finally shave the man-wool off this week. Please score lots of goals. It itches.

Mike

Some Basics

Hey Deciders. A few people have asked me about doing drills, terminology, and general things they can do to improve their game. Below is a video that goes over some basic foot skills that are the building blocks to playing better soccer. I recommend the first minute. If you want to watch Abby juggle a lot watch the whole thing.



Here is an abridged rundown of each position and its role on the field. If you want a great overview of the game, take a look at the article this section was taken from: http://www.geocities.com/markpalm94598/Soccer.html. It's written for the first-time youth soccer coach, which is sort of what all of us are.


POSITIONS

DEFENDERS play in front of the goalkeeper and are responsible for defending the goal.

Defenders should always
Engage an attacker with the ball immediately

Defenders should never
Kick the ball across the front of their own goal
(Many goals in rec. soccer are caused by friendly players who kick the ball near their own goal and end up centering it for the other team)

GOALKEEPERS keep the ball from entering the goal. Make sure before the game that your assigned goalkeepers are willing to play keeper that day.

Goalkeepers should always
Speak up because they can see more than any other player

Goalkeepers should never
Just stay on the goal line

Goalkeepers should know when to
Come out and dive on the ball

Good goalkeepers
Charge an unmarked attacker with a fast break or a ball in the box

MIDFILEDERS play in the middle of the field and try to advance the ball and are the first line of defense.

Midfielders should always
Dribble if they have an open field to draw defenders and open space for teammates

Midfielders should never
Think the coach wants them to play as a forward

Midfielders should know when to
Engage as first defender

Good midfielders
Pace themselves and indicate when they need be subbed out

FORWARDS play forward of the other players and therefore have the best chance to score goals.

Forwards should know when to
Rest

Good forwards
Are trigger pullers

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TERMS (Diagram at bottom)

CENTER/CROSS

A pass from either side of the field towards the middle of the field. It is used primarily to get the ball closer to the front of the goal. The words “center” and “cross” are used interchangeably.

CLEAR
Move the ball away from the goal. Usually when the ball needs to be kicked square or upfield to move it out of a position where the other team can shoot.

DROP
A backward pass.

LINE
A forward pass, usually up the sideline.

MAN ON
Used to tell a teammate that there is an opposing player near them. Can be pluralized, "two on," "three on."

PUSH UP
A phrase used to tell the defense to move up the field, often when the offense is close to the goal. This allows the defense to support the midfield should the ball be cleared by the opposing team.

SQUARE
A pass made laterally.

SWITCH
To pass the ball from one side of the field to the other. Usually used to let the person with the ball know that the other side of the field is open.

THROUGH
A pass made to open space, through a hole in the defense. Passing to open space like this allows your teammate to run onto the ball and provides opportunities to shoot or draw defenders in order to make another pass.

TRAP
The use of one’s body to control a moving ball that is coming to them, most often using the chest, thighs or feet.

Better Zebras

Apparently we can make a difference:

From: ZogSports - Christie MacKinnon
Date: August 6, 2007 3:19:36 PM EDT
To: Mike Neff
Subject: RE: A Top 10 List for ZS Soccer Players

Mike,

Thanks for the feedback. Our referees have different levels of experience and personalities that affect how they call a game. However, we have received enough similar feedback to warrant reassessing our training of referees as well as if some of our referees are not cut out for the job. We do hope to improve upon this for future seasons.

Cheers,

Christie

Which was in response to:

From: Mike Neff
Sent: Friday, August 03, 2007 2:50 PM
To: ZogSports - Christie MacKinnon
Subject: Re: A Top 10 List for ZS Soccer Players

Christie,

One thing that my not-very-competitive or -experienced team has consistently agreed on is that our refs have been sub-par. I'm willing to take a stinky ref every once in a while when good refs are the norm, but we haven't had a really good ref this season. That's pretty disappointing.

Thanks,

Mike

Let's see some of this next week

Just F-ing Stunning

"Soon-to-be-ex-Manchester United defender Gabriel Heinze gave Argentina the lead with his kung-fu volley. Lionel Messi then scored a goal so cute that you will want to marry it and have its babies. He lifted the ball over Oswaldo Sanchez from the right side of the penalty area. Juan Roman Riquelme completed the scoring with a cheeky chipped penalty."

We need to start scoring goals that carry descriptions like these.

RIP: Anne's ankle, casual soccer career

As you can see, it doesn't look good. Not sure why she decided to wear red pumps to the doctor's office. She really insisted. Kept saying something about wanting to go out in style...

And yes, I took time out of my work day to scan the real x-rays. Or "wet reads" as the doctor kept calling them.

Our Namesake

Just so we all know where we get our glorious team name, here is the primary footage. I only hope that our season may see more success and accomplished missions than that of the other "Decider." I guess it's for the best though; had he said, "I'm the Brazilian Waxed Penalty Box and I Brazilian Wax Penalty Box what is best," things would have become awkward and confusing in future games.

Yes! Yes! Oh God, Yes!

Brilliance

Record Added

I'm just going to fill that left hand bar with thing until it will hold no more! If you'd like to see something else there let me know. See you at practice tonight.

STRATEGO

I congratulate all Deciders who participated in last evening's spirited scrimmage. I also congratulate the New York Yankees for their inspiring victory over the Mets; let their aggressive play and classy sportsmanship motivate our first win this Sunday.

In reviewing the events of our first game, I have formed some suggestions that may help us improve our chances for league domination, the domination we so dearly deserve and will likely effect. While I am wary of attempting to assert too much will over how we play, and of appearing to take this experience too seriously, I hope you will humor me and consider these few points which I offer to increase both our enjoyment and success in the league.

1. During practice, it would be best to recreate the type of play we can expect in games. That is, we should play within tighter boundaries. This will force us to strengthen our close-play skills (fighting for 50-50s, shielding, communication, collapsing while on defense, and (most importantly) spreading the field and creating space while on offense). If we get the turf field, we can use the goalie box for field dimensions; that usually works quite well. I'll see if I can bring some variously colored pinnies/bibs so we can do a couple of other helpful drills.
2. Shoot the ball. A lot. These small fields afford us plenty of scoring opportunities that we may not realize are there. Seriously, we should even be taking a shot off all kick-offs from midfield.
3. Use the toe-punch, especially when in close proximity to the goal. Most goals are foiled when we take too long to get a shot off at close range, or else when the shots are struck while we're off-balance and are consequently weak. The toe punch corrects for both of these flaws: it's quick, fast, and accurate (almost always going straight from where you follow through). We should have no shame about using the toe-punch; rather, our foes will feel same, the shame of suffering defeat from our super toeing.

Thanks for humoring. Please feel free to challenge or echo any of these points, and, of course, to add your own.

In a similar vein…

I hope the fate of Sebastien Kehl doesn't afflict any of our male players.

It burns!

Vinnie Jones could teach all of us a few things.

Sippy Cup Documented